Man, today was rough. Let me preface this to say that I know there are way worse issues in the world than what my day was like. I'm not trying to sound like "woe is me". Well, maybe a little bit. But I do think it's important to feel frustrations every once in a while (or, lately, daily) so that you can appreciate the good and peaceful moments more. So, come and share in my frustrating day with me.
Today was day 2 of a week-long morning VBS for my kiddos. I signed them up for this with maybe 50% being the right reason. I 50% selfishly wanted 3 hours of "me" time each day... time to do returns, pack, grocery shop, exercise, really, whatever. And for $15 a kid, friendly faces that we recognized, and guaranteed out-of-the-house entertainment, this was something I've been counting on for weeks. In fact, I put off doing certain things so I could do them during these 3 hours each day.
The only thing I didn't factor in was the recently-grown attachment Parker has to me. He never wants me to leave him. Last week at my church's VBC, he wouldn't go to his group. He would either go with Taylor's group or just sit by me. I thought that maybe it was because I was there the whole time, and he had to walk by me a lot. I truly believed this week would be different since I wouldn't be there. Plus, it was at his former school, for goodness' sake. It had to be good, right? We talked it up prior to him going and it didn't appear that it would be so much of an issue.
Yesterday, he cried when I dropped him off. The poor, cute teenagers took him off my hands, and I warned them that he'd cry but hopefully it wouldn't last long after I left. When I went to pick him up, he was happy and they told me that he got over it fairly quickly.
Today, same thing. Tears. I quickly exited the building, only to hear his echoing wails. I headed to the Mall of GA, where I had to return a few things to one store outside of the mall. I was 25 minutes into the 30 minute drive, and... my phone rings. It was a lady from the church. She was the one who dealt with him yesterday and today (she wasn't a teeanger, this lady was probably in her 40s). She told me that he's throwing temper tantrums and that I need to come and get him. She wasn't really rude, but seemed a bit put-out. My mind was like... crap. I just need to return these things. (I have 3 more days before my 30-day time frame to return them is up). I told her I was almost at the mall and would be almost 30 minutes away, and she seemed a bit aggravated. (I was going to see if I could add in the ~15 additional minutes so I could get the returns over with, but I could tell that wasn't an option). I tried calling Stephen to see if he could get Parker (he would be closer) but he was on a conference call. I turned my little electric car around, soooo close to my destination, and headed back to get Parker.
When I arrived, he wasn't even crying. Granted, I believe them that he was and that he wouldn't participate. Parker knew exactly what he was doing and was very happy I was there, though a little stand-offish with me, knowing I wasn't going to be happy. I got a little upset, telling the ladies my dilemma- I hate leaving him to be dealt with by others while he's so upset, but I also don't want him to think that he can pitch a fit and get his way. It's a tough situation to know how to handle correctly. And I don't think I handled it correctly, but I did what I felt I should do. I didn't go back to the mall (I really didn't feel like driving 30 minutes back that direction, and then 30 minutes back to the church. Plus, I don't think I had enough battery life and charging it would take time.) Instead, I took him home, and told him that "fun" is not what we would have. I told him to go to his room- no tv, no phone, no tablet, no me to play with. I got a lot of stuff around the house done while he played by himself. I told him how upset I was with him. He cried a few times. I told him that he was supposed to be at VBS, having a lot of fun with new friends, and now, at home, he'd be doing the opposite. I was feeling completely defeated and frustrated. I hardly said 5 words to him all morning. I wanted him to know that he didn't get his way in the end.
When it was time to pick up the girls, Parker and I were driving there and a car slowly backed out of a driveway on a main road and pulled out right in front of us, causing us to go off into the ditch. She and her freaking jaguar continued to back up, coming within feet of us on the side of the road. I'm blowing my horn but she acted like she couldn't hear. She finally glanced at me and gave a little casual wave, as if I had just let her go first at an intersection. She had earbuds in her ears and looked like she was talking to someone or singing to herself. I yelled some choice words out the window at her. On top of all the feelings of defeat, then this lady almost causing us to wreck and act so nonchalantly about it... oh, my blood was boiling.
Thankfully, we made it safely to the church to get the girls. Sydney was screaming on the way home about having to go to the bathroom. SCREAMING. Parker was doing everything he could to annoy her, and she was crying and yelling, like she was the toddler. I had to pull over in a parking lot to raise my voice and talk some sense into them. Or "yell" some sense into them.
We made it home, and I sent all 3 to their rooms. I literally sat down, feeling exhausted. I don't know the answers. I don't know how to fix any of these issues. I don't know how to teach your child how to act appropriately besides telling them and showing them. If they don't want to do it, or choose not to do it, what can you do? Punish them, yes. But they'll do it again!
I was so exhausted that I ended up taking a 2 hour nap in Taylor's bed. The kids' moods improved, as did mine. While I was sleeping, the girl in charge of the VBS left me a message. She wanted to say she was sorry that they had to call me about Parker, and she heard through the grapevine that the person who called me wasn't very polite and professional. She said she would have handled what she said a little differently. She said she'd love for Parker to come back tomorrow and try again, and I'm welcome to come be with him if I think he'd prefer that. I got back to her, telling her thank you, nothing was a big deal (about the lady who called) but that I was going to keep Parker out the rest of the week. So much for my free time. People keep telling me this is just a season, and I know that's true. And I'm super thankful and blessed to have a 3.5 year old to be frustrated with. But, being a mom is hard. These days can be difficult. And I really wish I knew the answers. If you know them, please share.
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